Open or Closed

Anne asked me tonight, "On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being private and 10 being open, what would you be?" I answered a 7 or 8. It made me wonder why. Why am I so open to the world about my life, my feelings, my emotions, my opinions? Some might say I'm opening myself to criticism. I'm allowing people to judge me without talking to me. I'm inviting strangers into my world. God forbid a future employer reads this and determines whether to employ me or not. My answer is "So what?"

If people wish to judge me on what they read rather than talking to me or spending time with me, then so be it. That's their prerogative. Actually, I hope employers read this so they can get a better understanding of who I am after or before they interview me. Right now, it doesn't matter because I have a great job and don't plan on leaving unless they get rid of me. As for people, if my opinions prevent people from engaging with me,well, then its probably for the best. What I hope is that it makes it easier for people to approach me because I've given them a million things to talk to me about. What I don't want is for people to argue with me and try to convince me that my opinions are wrong. Feel free to share your opinion with me, but please don't force them on me.

I want to share my thoughts and experiences with the world because life is all about experiences. Nobody can possibly experience everything, so why not share mine with others who may not get the chance to. In terms of opinions, I believe the more opinions there are, the more thought that is provoked, the more progress we can make. I've always enjoyed reading (mostly watching) autobiographies. So many interesting things happen to people that I don't think I'll ever experience. I know I may not have any unique experiences or opinions but mine may be different enough to stimulate some conversations. I may have a different perspective or handled things differently than expected. That's what has always interested me. How people handle every kind of situation. Most people won't share this much about themselves because we're all afraid that we may have handled a situation improperly or not the way others would have handled it so why let people know? To me, it doesn't matter. To me, to hear about the situation and to get my mind to think about how I would have handled it regardless of how others handled it, I think, prepares me better for the future. learning about the situation or knowing someones opinion gets me thinking. It gets me to start wondering. Sure, I may not have to decide whether to invade Cuba or not, but I may be put in a very stressful situation where I have to make a very difficult situation without knowing all the facts. Learning about how JFK handled it, taught me a little bit more how to assess a situation and try to make the best decision possible and live with the consequences. Many times there will be no correct decision, the important thing is to make a decision and to believe in it. Or I may never be in a game 7 of the NBA finals, shooting my team out of the game in the first half, then adjusting to make the right decisions in the 4th quarter to secure the second consecutive championship and finals MVP, but I can learn how to trust people on a team and focus on the task at hand. Or I may not be a part of a family that doesn't agree with my lifestyle, but I can learn to always stay true to myself and love unconditionally.

So I'm an open book. Some may not be as open as I am, but that's okay. The important thing is that we accept who we are. Not everyone in the world is going to like you or agree with you. So you might as well be happy with yourself.

I am a middle child.