Awkward Social Situation

Yesterday, Anne, Ryan and I were walking around Silver Lake for some exercise. Along the way, a guy jogging saw us and stopped. It was obvious that he knew Ryan and me. And he looked pretty familiar. What was also obvious was that nobody knew each other's names. We all looked at each other with an expression that was the bastard child of surprise, excitement, bewilderment and fear. Surprised since I haven't seen this guy in over 10 years, excitement because we knew this guy pretty well, bewilderment because we didn't know how to figure out his name, and fear because nobody wanted to admit their memory loss. Of course, I, being the risk taker that I am, threw out a name. The way I saw it, it was a boolean situation. I was either going to be true or false. Of course the chances of me being wrong were high, but I figured if I don't at least try my chance of being right was guaranteed zero. Since I was already feeling awkward, I decided to take my chances. Unfortunately, I was wrong, dead wrong. The funny thing was that I wasn't corrected. For a split second I thought I was right, but when the awkwardness continued I was sure that I was not. Luckily we were headed in opposite directions, so the entire occurrence lasted all of 3 seconds. A few seconds later, Ryan and I realized who it was. Well, Ryan realized and I agreed. He was actually a guy that we pledged with in college. A guy that I had publicly decreed that I would die for. Yeah, that guy, "what's his name".

Situations like this happen all the time with Anne and me. The first time I remember it happening was early on in our relationship when we were at a restaurant in China town. We were waiting for our number to be called in order to enjoy some dim sum when I heard someone call out my name. The face looked so familiar so I promptly responded with surprise and greeted him with "What's up bro, what are you doing here?" (Obviously, he was eating) . We chit chatted for a few minutes, the whole time I'm trying to figure out his name. If that wasn't enough, the entire time Anne was just standing next to me wondering when I was going to introduce her. Of course I didn't introduce her because I didn't know his name, so I continued to dodge the situation. To make it even more awkward, after we exchanged pleasantries we all just kinda stood there in social awkwardness as we waited for our number to be called. He must have thought I was having an affair with Anne and I didn't want him to know who she was.

From that point on, Anne and I have cleverly developed a system to avoid these awkward situations. Please keep in mind that the same situation has happened with Anne and I in opposite roles. Under normal circumstances I would introduce people to Anne by saying "So and So, this is my wife, Anne." Given a Silver Lake/China town incident, if I were to introduce Anne by saying "OH, let me introduce you to my wife, this is Anne...." Anne would get my cue that I don't know this person's name and would quickly interrupt my introduction by offering her hand and saying "Nice to meet you, I'm sorry, what was your name again?" As if I had told her but she didn't hear me. With a high degree of success, the name would be given and I would follow up with a short background of how we know each other. Hopefully, by the time I've finished my witty anecdote about how we knew each other, the awkward situation would have been avoided and everyone would continue to be entertained by my charm. Unfortunately, we were unable to apply this technique at Silver Lake as we were jogging in opposite directions and didn't have enough time to implement. Given enough time and having Anne with me this situation is easily averted, but what if she wasn't?? Well, I've figured out a solution for that too.

If this were to happen while I'm alone, my course of actoin would be as follows. I would prolong the conversation as long as possible while in the back of my mind going through my entire contacts list to determine a name. The longer we speak, the more likely something will trigger my memory. The important thing is to speak in the most casual manner possible using slang when appropriate in place of their name, such as "bro" or "dude" or "girl" or "woman". Another key is to use the slang as a term of endearment so it doesn't sound too contrived. If by the end of the conversation I am still drawing a blank, the guaranteed course of action is to ask the other party for their contact info in order to schedule time to catch up. Best thing is to ask for a business card. If no business card is available, ask them to write down their phone number and email address. Usually they will write down their name along with the requested info. If I am the one writing down the info, I'll ask them how to spell their last name as if its difficult and don't want to misspell (there is some risk with this method if their last name is simple). Last important piece of info, once they have given me their name, I make sure to not use it for the rest of the current conversation, not even while parting ways. Using their name, only after they've given it to me, is a subtle sign that I've forgotten their name. By not using their name, I stay consistent and have them believe that I just don't use names thereby slightly reducing the awkwardness.

When all else fails, I drop my pride and apologetically ask for their name. Hey, it happens to everyone so I'm sure they will understand and try to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness. If not, then next time I'll purposely forget their name.